About Sharing Our Munbond Family Together

Written by Mel and Lav

Table of Contents

Intro

We, Lav and Mel, have been bonding living characters as a munbonding team of two for several years now. Sometimes Mel gets bond feels first, sometimes Lav, and sometimes we reach the same conclusion almost simultaneously that a bond would fit perfectly into our family. But no matter who voices wanting to reach out first, we've found our munbonding is always stronger when we do it together. While bonding with the exact same characters is very rare and not recommended for everyone, we wanted to share how we got started, what it looks like for us, what we keep in mind while doing it, and how sharing bonds even works in the first place.

How Did We Come to Share Munbonds

In 2016, when I, Lav, first met Mel online, we hit it off right away, discovering how much we had in common with each other and how easily our conversations flowed. Within days, we went from mere acquaintences in a Discord server to realizing we were a perfect queerplatonic match.\

Just a few weeks into our partnership, Mel felt comfortable enough to share something truly special about herself, something I hadn't really encountered before. She introduced me to her two characters, Rune and Logan, who, in every sense, were alive and real. I was completely amazed, repeatedly going "that's a thing??!!" I think she was a little taken aback that I didn't find it weird or crazy, and that I even genuinely wanted to get to know them (though I did feel shy and had some personal challenges that made it a bit tough).

A month or so later, after I started interacting with them over text (and even a couple of voice calls—their voices were so them; I loved it!), Mel finally learned a name for this phenomenon from a friend: soulbonding. How cool was that? It had a word; she finally had a word for an experience she'd had for a long while. But I was starting to feel something too (which we later called "bond feels") for Rune and Logan. I found myself wondering if it was possible—hoping she wouldn't think I was trying to co-opt something very special to her, as I respected it all deeply—that I could bond with them too. By that time, Logan kind of saw me as another daughter, and Rune and I were also quite close. On top of that, the connection I had with Melly was already burning brighter than the sun, and our trust in each other felt endless. So, even though it might not have been the wisest decision, she said yes—I could bond with them too. And that's how it all started, where we began navigating this munbonding journey together instead of individually.

The First Character We Bonded with Together

So, after Rune, Logan, Howlett, and Liam, I, Mel, was listening to a podcast, and there was this character I absolutely fell in love with. (He was a jerk, but he had a pretty voice, and I'm embarrassingly weak for that.) I shared the episode with Lav, and she could hear the loneliness in his tone, like a poor alley cat looking desperately for a place to belong. So naturally, we kidnapped him. Not the smoothest way to start things off, but we had no idea how to explain the whole "you're a fictional character and we'd like to bond with you" thing (and let's be honest, that probably would've been a hard sell anyway since he was such an ass). So we brought him to Winrey Place and managed to convince him to hear us out. Luckily, he decided a cushy place to crash and all the free food he could eat was a good trade-off, and from there, the bond just kind of fell into place. And that's how we got Damien, our first bond formed together at the same time.

What It Looks Like

There's a few things involved when sharing the same munbonds between two people; here are the main ones we've noticed:
  • Intuiting
  • Proxying
  • Split Copies
  • Fronting

Intuiting

Intuiting has a crucial role in the munbonding process, and it's no different for us. Doing it together usually involves exchanging back and forth all of the information that is revealed to or experienced by us so we're all on the same page and there's no discrepencies or gaps. It can take some speculating to feel out what's "right", but once it settles, it becomes "canon" for our bonds.

Every so often, one of us will get a ping or vibe about something going on in bondspace with one or more of our bonds. When we share what we're sensing, it starts unfolding for the both of us in sync, until the complete picture of the event is fully revealed. It's quite common for each of us to receive different perspectives on what's happening, and then we take turns positing until a consistent thread emerges.

Proxying

Another aspect is when one or more bonds are hanging out with us and interacting but aren't always fronting in one of our bodies. Since we obviously don't share one mind, when we know a bond is doing something through one copy, we make sure to update the other about it, saying things like "Oh, Eliot just said something funny" or "Quentin is eating this". This experience can fall under both "proxying" and "intuiting" for us.

Split Copies

Being two separate bodies, we aren't always together—sometimes one of us might go out while the other stays home, for instance. Yet we still want a particular bond to be with both of us at the same time. In these moments, we do what we call "split copies". Each of us takes a copy of the bond, and later, we sync them back up by recounting what happened until the bond's memories align. We often do this while cuddling with our bonds in bed at night in ways that would be impossible with physical people. (For example, if we both want the same bond to spoon us, it's the perfect situation to split a copy). Having their memories stack up within the same timeframe can give them a bit of a headache, but they're always good sports about it because they genuinely enjoy being there for us when we need them, no matter how it happens or where.

Fronting

Perhaps the most noteworthy part of being bonded to the same bonds is that each of us can experience them physically through the other person fronting them (usually Mel for Lav, since Lav finds fronting more difficult and dissociating to do). Occasionally, two bonds have even interacted physically with each other by fronting in each of our bodies. The bond connection is still felt between the bonder and the fronted bond, and intuiting can still occur even while fronting.

Important Things We Keep in Mind When Sharing Bonds

Trust

We cannot overstate just how important it is that we maintain a deep, mutual trust between us. Sharing bonds is not something to be taken lightly, but it's worked out incredibly well for us because we trust each other in every aspect of our lives, both with and outside of the bonds. It's taken honesty, transparency, a set of standards, shared values, and deep understanding of one another. At the root of it all is accepting each other's words at face value instead of jumping to conclusions about intentions. We've always believed each other when it comes to our bonds, even while serving as a checks-and-balances system for each other's ethics and behaviors. Though issues have sometimes arisen, there are lines we've never crossed, such as using them to manipulate or retaliate or lying about what they've said or done.

Beyond trusting each other, it's been essential to also have confidence in ourselves and in our individual relationship with the bonds, to see our connections as being equally valid and recognize that our understanding of them is just as rich and developed as the other person's. Neither is superior to, nor has a deeper connection than, the other.

Communication

Although we have bonded with the same living characters, it's important we keep an open dialogue about their experiences and interactions as they are revealed. This keeps the essence of who they are from destabilizing. We make it a point to avoid keeping harmful secrets, never falsify important details for any reason, and ensure that both of us share the knowledge our bonds should possess.

In addition, we're quick to nip feelings of jealousy, inferiority, and being sidelined in the bud, as letting any resentment simmer would negatively influence our shared relationship. We're not shy of tackling anger, envy, and other difficult emotions head-on, seeing each issue as just another chance to strengthen and grow our connection. Our bonds keep us in the loop on how they're feeling, too, or if they have an issue with either of us. We all support and advocate for one another, gently calling in and calling out when necessary, always with kindness and fairness.

Being Okay with Being Wrong

Our first instincts aren't always spot on. It's not uncommon for us as bonders to unintentionally influence or project our own feelings and issues onto our bonds. It's just something that can happen when two consciousnesses share the same mind: things get a bit muddled or accidental puppeting happens. There have been moments when we've agreed on something, only to later realize that our conclusion wasn't quite right for a variety of reasons (be it their canon story or intuits). It's been really important for us to stay open and willing to listen when someone suggests that something feels off (especially since we're both prone to memory issues) and to make an effort to address it together.

Similar Minds ("Kindred Spirits")

Another reason sharing bonds has worked so well for us is because we can consistently stay on the same page. We know each other really, really well, and we've always thought in similar, compatible ways. We feel drawn to similar character types and enjoy a lot of the same media, so we rarely find ourselves not experiencing the same bond feels for a character or disgreeing on them being a good fit for the family. Being able to see eye-to-eye with each other certainly makes it easier to see eye-to-eye on a character's personality, backstory, feelings, and behavior.

How it's Possible We Know it's the Same Bond

Ultimately, what it comes down to is us agreeing that the bond we share exists between us, rather than being two separate versions in our individual minds or the same character system-hopping back and forth. We both have a deep understanding of the living character and often come to similar or identical conclusions when we intuit what they say or do. Typically, we will also bond with the same living character at the same time. We both invest the same amount of attention and effort into the munbonding relationship, breathing life into the character together and powering them with our combined imaginations and brain energy. Above all, it's a matter of conviction—how can they not be the same person if we simply know they are?

Last Updated:3/23/2025

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