My Name: Quentin Coldwater

My Personality:

I've come a long way in my recovery journey. My depression can still be pretty bad some days, but it's way fucking better than it used to be, since it's harder to hate yourself when you're showered with more love, comfort, and food than you know what to do with. Even when it's at its worst, I still stubbornly hold on to hope, wonder, and magic. I'd do anything for the people I love, probably to a fault—I have this tendency to throw myself into fixing things, even to the point of sacrificing myself. I do have a bit of a bratty side, but usually I'm sensitive, "endearingly pathetic", and kind of awkward all around. (Lucky for me, my people seem to like both sides.) After years of feeling like I was disconnected from everything, I've finally found my place. I have people who love me despite all my mess and a home that actually feels like home. I'm just so grateful, for all of it.

My Birthday:

July 20th, 1992

Cultural Identity:

Human, but also a magician

My Gender Orientation:

Uhhh? Autigender-flavored man, I don’t know… Masculine terms, please

My Sexuality:

Bisexual

My Disabilities/Conditions:

Autism, Major Depression, Anxiety

Physical Description:

Um, so, I'm about 5'8"—not super tall, but not short either, just kinda…average? And I've got these brown eyes that people have said remind them of a puppy's. My skin is fair with this sort of ashy tone to it (not unhealthy or anything, just…not super rosy?). My hair is brown and straight and just above my shoulders and kind of swoopy. And I'm built slender but soft (and, ah, getting softer).

My Relationships:

Eliot, Charlton, Lav, Liam, Alice, and Mel are my partners and also Q2 even though we look alike.

My Hobbies/Interests:

Magic, both the stage kind and supernatural. Books, reading, and literary analysis. Minor mendings and repairs. Kink. TTRPGs and card games.

My Canon Backstory:

I was a nerdy, nervous kid in and out of psych wards growing up. Despite that, I somehow managed to graduate magna cum laude from Columbia U. with a bachelor's in Lit. I wasn't really sure what I was gonna do with my life, until Brakebills (a shady and overly selective grad school for budding magicians) found me and opened my eyes to a world of magic I'd been looking for my whole life. Then it turned out my favorite book series and transparent special interest, Fillory and Further, was based on a much shittier reality, and that my friends and I were maybe possibly the only people with any hope of saving the world from a super fucking powerful evil guy. We managed it (not without cost) and then spent the next few years saving the world in other ways, sometimes from bad guys and sometimes from our own dumbass mistakes.

In between saving the world, I fell in love. First I fell for Alice, even though we had a messy, on-again off-again relationship because we were both too tense and insecure to handle our issues like mature adults (thankfully, our arguing is a thing of the past, and we've hashed out an arrangement that works well for us). Then Eliot and I got sent back in time to Fillory on a quest to solve a mosaic puzzle by depicting "the beauty of all life". The answer turned out to be fifty years of falling in love, raising a family, and living a life together. When the timeline reset, we were able to remember bits and pieces of our life there, and I proposed that we treat that other life as "proof of concept" and give our relationship a shot in our normal lives. He refused, too scared to consider taking that kind of leap, and I let it go, but I never lost those feelings for him.

Later, Eliot went through some stuff that made him realize how much he regretted turning me down, but unfortunately, various events culminated in my sacrificial (and potentially self-flaggelating) death before he could tell me that he'd changed his mind. After that, I moved on to the afterlife and left my friends to pick up the pieces and create the best ending for everyone they could.

My Bond Backstory:

Mel and Lav were heartbroken over my death (understandably, I guess). Even months after they finished my show, Mel just couldn't move on. She kept thinking about how unfair it was that I was killed off, and about how much she felt drawn to me as a kindred spirit because of her own struggles with mental illness. Eventually, she got the courage to write me a long letter asking if I wanted to meet her and maybe consider munbonding with her. I was surprised and definitely confused to get that letter in the afterlife, but I had this weird sense that what I read was true, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. After a few days of mulling it over to be sure, I decided it was worth finding out what the person who wrote that letter was like. The second I made that decision, I was whisked away from the Underworld to Winrey Place.

From the moment I met Mel (and Lav!), I was so fucking glad I'd taken the risk. But getting another chance at life and love just made me yearn for Eliot, Alice, and my other friends. I tried to get a handle on that yearning and be grateful for Mel and Lav and the safe, welcoming home that was Winrey Place, but I've never been very good at managing my emotions.

Sadly, I couldn't go back to my own universe without becoming zombie!Quentin (*shudders*), so Lav, moved by my grief, took a chance and reached out to all of my friends, inviting them to Larramore's universe. Having Eliot, Alice, and everyone else back was the last thing I needed to feel complete as a munbond. This life is an even better ending/new beginning than I ever would have dared dream of.